Sunday, August 14, 2005

How to Have the Best Sex of Your Life

Want to have the best sex of your life? Then, don’t have it unless you are ready and have a partner that you care deeply about. Sex is not just the bump and grind. The physical mechanics of the sex act are not always all they are cracked up to be. Sexual encounters that lack the special ingredient of love can be very unsatisfying and unsettling. The participants of a casual, purely sexual encounter know they missed something and may not even be able to climax.

The best sex you will ever have is with someone you love. Then, you will achieve the physical and emotional union that will bring you satisfaction. It is that one-ness, that unselfish giving of pleasure and that look in the eye of your lover that are going to drive you to the best orgasms of your lifetime.

Have a partner you care about and not experiencing what I am describing here? It is really all in your head. Some key ingredients though are letting things flow, expressing oneself, giving selflessly and keeping life’s problems out of the bedroom. Have a headache? Then don’t say no! Bad day at work and your Sweetie is feeling arduous? Go for it! A little lovin’ is just what the doctor ordered.

Let’s go down the list. How do you let things flow? Say for example, you are doing something like washing dishes. Your partner comes up and plants a wet one on your neck. Yeah, it tickles. It also leads to another. What now? Finish the dishes, go to Walmart and mop the floor? Not on your life. Turn around and respond. Your interest in their offer of affection is a great aphrodisiac. Or, be playful and pretend you are shocked, or annoyed, and still lean into it. A little humor goes a long way. Loosen up and follow the lead. You won’t be sorry.

Giving selflessly starts with acknowledging the advances your lover makes. You don’t have to go overboard right away. You can let things build. Lovemaking starts in the morning with that first kiss and comes to fruition whenever you finally have sex later in the day (if there isn’t time in the morning!). Giving selflessly comes easily if this is the person you love. Kissing their toes, their calves, their nose seems appropriate then. Why? It feels right because you are expressing yourself and how you feel about them. It is not mechanical, it is not even meant to arouse. It is another way of expressing your feeling for them. Oh, it is sexy, and your partner will be aroused by any caressing that comes from the heart. And the fun part is they will return the favor in spades.

Once the fun begins, let your partner know how you feel. Some of us are more verbal in expressing our pleasure than others. A soft moan is an invitation to, “Do that again please.” Most lovers cannot read your mind. Sometimes we know what each other is thinking, but why take the chance here? Say what you are feeling. You don’t have to start talking dirty, unless you want to or you know they like it. Just give them some encouragement, something to go on. Get loud if you have to. Make sure that your loved one knows how much you enjoy sharing this with them. One of the best ways is to look them right in the eye during your lovemaking. You don’t even have to say the words and they know what that look means, “I love you and I love making love to you.”
Lastly, at least for today’s lesson, keep life’s problems out of the bedroom. Before, during and after sex keep the conversation light. The checkbook, the kids grades, car repairs, religion, war, whatever silly thing pops into your head leave it there. Don’t ruin the moment. You have just shared your deepest self and your body and soul with your lover. Honor the moment by leaving transient thoughts out of the mix. Give this your all, body, soul and mind. Keep it here, even in the afterglow, make this a special place in time for both of you.

Finally, cherish this part of your relationship. The oneness, the joy, the power of loving sometimes goes unrecognized. Don’t be immune to its impact. This is the connection that we crave with the one we love. Marinate in it. Let this moment sear itself into your consciousness and contribute more power to the next encounter. Don’t waste your time just having sex, make love to the one who inspires you to do so.

Susan Hoskins

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Monday, July 18, 2005

Life Happens

Haven't been around lately. Too much going on. Working hard for the money. Loving like there's no tomorrow. Splashing in waterfalls. Seems there is never enough time to do the things we want to. I have some ideas and I will be back soon. Enjoy your summer!!!!

Friday, May 13, 2005

Don't Be Afraid!

Yes, today is a Friday the 13th. Some people have anxiety over dates like this. I am here to tell you to relax!!! Fridays, first of all are always welcome. : ) Another weekend has arrived and we get to pick what it is we do with it, for the most part. Naps, walks, singing, visiting, cooking, dining out, you name it, you've got two days to do it up big!

Secondly, stop and think a minute. Have you personally ever had a truly bad experience on a Friday the 13th? Chances are you haven't, but you feel like it might happen this time, right? Well, then think of something good that happened on a Friday the 13th. You don't tend to notice those!

In my family, today is a good day. My first baby boy was born on a Friday the 13th in June 1975. He was a morning delivery, very uneventful and the healthiest kid you could ever ask for. My second son was born on Tuesday the 10th which was 3 days ahead of, you guessed it, Friday the 13th. He is a kind, sweet person who has a smile that lights up his face and yours. My third son was born on Monday the 16th, after a Friday the 13th. He was born in an hour and a half and is a talented artist and musician.

So, three wonderful things have happened in my life. And these fell on, or within 3 days of, a Friday the 13th. So, I am a disbeliever in the superstition that this is a bad day. I would like to start a new tradition! Friday the 13th is a great day. It is a day of new beginnings and a day of entering a new era full of love and joy.

Care to join me?

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Newt Mistress

One Day It Dawns On You

One day you wake up and realize....

Someone has stolen your heart! You had it the last time you remember, but it definitely isn't yours any more. Someone else came into your life and, however innocently, they've made off with the goods!

Now, when that someone isn't around your chest feels empty. Suddenly, you feel a little incomplete. Now what are you going to do??? You can't really blame them. You must have let them do it. Something so vital, so much a part of your being cannot be taken without consent. You must have given them access to it.

The problem now is this; now you need that other person. Why? Because without them, you are no longer whole. A central piece is gone and must be recovered. All you can really do is go tell them about it. If, you are fortunate, they won't give it back.

Best case scenario is this, they give you theirs. Now, you can both feel complete when you are together!

Then, one day it dawns on you,

it was supposed to happen that way!
Hearts are to be given away, or better yet, exchanged.